‘I Would Rather Not Go Back To The Old House’ is a project that is observed through the medium of photography which allows me to not only deal with my feelings and emotions regarding a romantic experience but also, to document them. It is a project that supports a cathartic process and a focus on an auto-ethnographic approach to research. It is a story of a failed love inspired by my own personal life experiences. Composed of six photos, each with its own meaning and interpretation. The project is explored, through a mixture of my personal narrative and the help of Rider-Waite tarot cards aesthetic and meaning, more specifically from the Major Arcana - The Fool, The Empress, The Lovers, Death, The Hanged man and The Moon.
l The Fool
numbered zero in all tarot decks, it can be positioned at the end or beginning of every Major Arcana. The Fool represents new beginnings, opportunity and potential and that is precisely what The Fool means in this project. It is a representation of myself and a metaphor for the beginning of something new but also my naiveness.
ll The Empress
described as a beautiful, full-figured woman and a special aura about her. This photo is a representation of my love interest.
lll The Lovers
representing love, relationships, values, alignments and choices. The arrival of this card in a Tarot reading shows that one might have found a soul mate or a partner for life. This photo is a metaphor for my relationship where even though a lot of love was being shared it became clear one side loved more than the other from a romantic standpoint and that is why in my final picture The Fool is looking to The Empress but she is looking somewhere else.
keywords are resistance to change, personal transformation and inner purging, it symbolises the end of a major phase or aspect in one’s life, similarly, Death shows a time of significant transformation and transition and it is a clear metaphor for the end of my relationship and a specific time of my life.
V The Hanged Man
keywords are pause, surrender and letting go. My photo is a metaphor for being stuck and asphyxiating on my own thoughts, it is a representation of the period after my loved one left me and represents my lack of ability to move forward with my life.
Vl The Moon
metaphor for something that I love but can not interact with, it is something that I am only able to appreciate from afar. This photo is a representation of the stage where I find myself. I am still hurt but I have gone through several stages of grief and now I simply feel melancholic and long for the unattainable.
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